Growing Communities By Celebrating Uniqueness

In our current effort to reduce this division and discord we are experiencing between people and groups of people I have noticed a familiar refrain that is kind of questionable to me. I read in comments or hear in interviews, people saying that we will come together when we realize we are more the same than we are different. At first thought this sounds legit. If we realize we are all human beings, with the same hopes, dreams, desires, and fears, we will see we are similar, or the same. If you think down a level or two below the superficial, this is problematic.

We are not the same. When you look into all the complex layers that make up a person, we are not even similar. We are more different than we can ever be alike. And begin unique is MAGNIFICENT!

Yes, we have the same basic physical structure and make up. We are all carbon-based life forms breathing oxygen. We all require nutritional substances to stay alive. But that is about where we stop being “the same”.

We all come from unique experiences, and have developed our own singular, unique perspectives of this world and how to navigate, even thrive, in it. No two people, even conjoined twins, sees the world the same, or believes the exact same things. This drive to “find our similarities” has become one of the main reasons why we cannot seem to “all just get along” as Rodney King famously asked. Being the same and groupthink is how dictators and authoritarians are able to control mass populaces and wield terrifying power. Having to conform to some group commonality is how we can see people as “less than” or “ other”.

For me, the truer and more solid foundation for a community lies in the acceptance, or at least tolerance, of our differences. When we can all exist, grow, and thrive as individuals in community with others, we will have much stronger and more emotionally healthy communities. It is nothing to live with someone who thinks exactly as you do. There is also not a lot of growth. The real growth in us occurs when our perspective of the world is challenged, questioned, and nurtured, by diverse thought, beliefs, and education. When we are exposed to different viewpoints and perspectives, we are able to exercise and strengthen our own beliefs or adjust them as we learn more about ourselves and our world and grow as humans.

We will grow our communities stronger, healthier, and more divers when we stop trying to find the sameness between us and welcome, and encourage, all the things that make us unique.